Category — Marriage & Relationships

“Nevertheless let everyone of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence the husband”. Ephesians 5:33.

To paraphrase: Every man must put his wife first as he would himself and every woman must respect her husband as she herself would like to be respected.

Every believer needs to change, grow up and be transformed (Romans 12:2) and that includes your better half.  Therefore, the next time your spouse falls into that annoying bad habit or mind set don’t ridicule, reach out. This may come as a surprise but you do not have a divine right to criticize your partner.  They may in fact be in the wrong but they are in fact still human and as their friend and lover you have a distinctly unique opportunity to help transform them. 

How patient would you be with a fellow Christian that you know is struggling?  Don’t be somebody who understands the great needs of the stranger and yet growls at the smallest fault in their partner.  This type of person is called a hypocrite!

Thinking of our text, it is hard to be impatient or remain agitated toward someone that you pray for, express love for and show respect for.  If everything about your wife annoys you, then guess what, at some point down the line you stopped being a husband and gave up on God’s commandment to love and cherish God’s gift to you. Selah!  Like wise if everything about your husband sparks you off its time to light the fire of love and respect for the man in your life.  Ephesians 5:33 is a commandment for a very good reason.  When a husband / wife demonstrates love and respect only on the back of “good behaviour”  they are condemning their marriage and denying their own Christianity.  Once love is acknowledged and committed to in matrimony it is the decisions you make that make it grow or drain the life out of it. 

It is time to make a decision to love your wife by forgiving, reaching out to and honouring her.  It is time to make a decision to “reverence” your husband by forgiving, reaching out to and honouring him.  Your better half should be a reflection of the best in you. Try listening instead of shouting, try understanding instead of condemning, try searching for the answers instead of taking the easy way out and giving in to anger.  Remember, what you fix together will help you stay together. Selah!  The Bible pulls no punches, “…everyone…love..and…reverence…”. Do it God’s way and you will release God’s power into your relationship.

1. Always apply the silent treatment.

 2. Never compliment voluntarily, spontaneously and without prompting.

 3. Never appreciate day to day effort.

 4. Criticise where you have made no effort or contribution.

 5. Ignore…issues, successes, achievements, concerns or worries.

 6. Always go out with your friends instead of your best friend.

 7. Focus on taking care of yourself expecting everyone else to be there for you when you need them.

 8. Do not do the little things that make a big difference.

 9. Absolutely avoid all forms of daily intimacy.

 10. Be embarrassed about and belittle romance.

 11. Decide that your anger, hurt and frustration are more important than your friendship, relationship and love. Harbouring bitterness after all forms an integral part of achieving a failed marriage.

 12. Within your marriage keep all sexual contact on your terms.

 13. Erode your spouse’s self esteem with your comments, jibs, and criticisms believing that tearing them apart is the best way to build them up.

 14. Never bite your tongue, be patient or respond with a soft answer – always shout back and preferably shout first.

 15. Rest when you should be working and work when you should be resting.

 16. Always be nicer to strangers than to your family.

 17. Take every opportunity to run your spouse down in the company of others – preferably family and friends.

 18. Always pray that God will change them and never pray that you will change for them.

 19. Husbands do not show any love!

 20. Wives do not show any respect!

 N.B. In all things put the above first if in all things your marriage comes last!