Category — Family

Let’s set the scene:

Even before conception and certainly during fetal development every human being has the full attention of an almighty God (Psalm 139:15-18). God can see the substance of, has recorded all the members of and has nothing but precious thoughts toward the unborn. Selah! (Psalm 139:16).

As Psalm139 reveals the unborn child is a fully formed individual in the heart, mind and plans of an omniscient God.  John the Baptist jumped in his mother’s womb at the salutation of a heavily pregnant Mary charged with the anointing of the unborn Christ in her womb. Here in is a clear lesson to all the church namely, that the unborn child is directly affected by the environment that his mother (and father) live in and create (Luke 1:41).  This includes the company they keep, what is said song and done. The reaction of a baby to “familiar” sounds such as the title music of regularly watched soap operas, or even the washing machine demands the attention of all expectant parents.  Pray for your unborn child close to the mother’s belly, play Christian music full of the anointing of the Holy Ghost, quote the word of God while you pray and in your general conversation and, when tiredness allows, be in the fellowship of God’s people worshiping the Lord Jesus Christ under the sound of the preached word. 

In the midst of God’s rebuke to Jonah (Jonah 3:11) He refers to, “…sixscore thousand persons that cannot discern between their right hand and their left”.  God chose His words carefully and deliberately. He thinks on the little child, what they are and who He intends them to be, just as if they were fully grown. He cherishes them no less for their stature and childishness. Little ones are masterpieces of God’s creation in small packages and should be handled with the greatest of care and respect.

 Let’s lay down the law:

When it comes to those who hurt and abuse children, unless they repent and are delivered from their depravity, the Lord Jesus Christ has only one message for them, “But whoso shall offend one of these little ones…it where better for him that a milestone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea (Matthew 18:6; Mark 9:42; Luke 17:2).  It must be carefully noted that Christ judges sin not sickness and that He identifies the abuse of children as sin carrying particularly harsh judgment from a holy and righteous God.  Children need parents who not only do what they can to protect them in the normal ebb and  flow of life but parents who protect their children with the power of prayer (faith filled, daily and without ceasing). Children need parents to teach them scriptures that will answer life’s questions and guide them through life’s decisions and difficulties. When a child remembers a verse from the Bible amidst a troublesome and even dangerous situation it has the power of a risen Saviour in it to give them the strength and wisdom to say the right things, do what is right, get clear and keep safe (Psalm 119: 97-105).  

 Let’s set the standard:

Proverbs 22:6 states that if you, “Train up a child in the way he should go …when he is old, he will not depart from it”. See 2 Timothy 3:15. Children are bombarded with rude and depraved images and standards on a daily basis.  Dear parent, never be hesitant to talk about sensitive issues with of course an approach geared to the age of the child you are trying to help. Never be hesitant to teach clear, strong and powerful Christian truth at any age.  The statistics show that well before your child gets through school they will be offered drugs, alcohol and sex in one form or another.  Christian parents should never hesitate to teach their children about the power of God, the delivering power of angels, the power of righteousness and righteous living, the power of the Holy Spirit in their lives not to mention the power of God’s truth to guide them perfectly through every area, stage and facet of life.

Please note that the process of training up a child does not mean they won’t make mistakes and some bad choices.  It means that these will be minimized and that their training will kick in no matter what area of their young lives seem to shake or crumble.  Training is what enables a pilot to successfully fly a plane at night or through a storm or thick fog.  Children need to be taught how to “instrument fly” through the difficult times i.e. faith and scripture first, circumstance second.  

As the head of the home Christian fathers need to step up to the plate. The author not only prayed for his son in the womb but has never missed a day to pray regarding some part of his school career, university career, the call of God, relationships etc.  When you draw near to God on any issue or concerning any one person He will draw near to you (James 5:8).  Your child could be many miles away on a school trip and you will know what to pray and even when to pray it. God will give you a sensitivity and awareness that is quite literally supernatural.  If you have any doubt Paul had this experience with his spiritual children, “For though I be absent in the flesh, yet I am with you in the spirit, joying and beholding your order, and the steadfastness of your faith” (Colossians 2:5; 1 Corinthians 5:4; 1 Thessalonians 2:17)

 Let’s blow the myth:

There are those who hold the position that children find their own way in life no matter what you do as a parent.  This is a cop out from those parents that are too selfish or lazy to make the effort required. Ignorance is no excuse for I have never met one person who does not know about the things that really matter to them. Selah!  If you put enough time into your child in later life they will bless you with the lives they live and the time they give back to you.  Should you feel that you have missed this opportunity with your children don’t waste their time struggling with regret.  Pray for forgiveness if need be but then pray unrelentingly for your sons and daughters and watch a faithful God move in their lives and make up for lost time. It is in the place of prayer and faith that you will find the answers they are looking for and the peace you are looking for (Philippians 4:5-6).

 Let’s establish the grounds rules:

To the Christian leader – if the call of God is not big enough to include a blessed wife and happy children then it’s either not of God or you are not in tune with God.

To the parent who learnt through the school of hard knocks – use the experience gained to love were you were not, to guide where you were left to flounder, to encourage where you were left to wallow in self doubt and insecurity, to teach where you were left to blunder and trip over problems and fears.  What you learn, teach! What you get, give! Selah.

To the man or the woman who finds it hard to express their feelings – news flash, if that is you then you are hard to live with.  Whoever cares for children should tell them that they are loved on a daily basis especially when there is no reason to say it other than the fact that you mean it.

To the struggling disciplinarian – love does what is right not what is easiest. Your child loves you but they will not respect you if you do not make them toe the line in meeting their responsibilities, their treatment of others and in the honour of their Lord and Saviour. Dear parent, would you like your child to be “…perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works”?   If so, then adopt a life style of using scripture “…for reproof, for correction, [and] for instruction in righteous” (2 Timothy 3:16 – 17).

Foot note: don’t belittle the value of saying you’re sorry when you have made a mistake.  Remember children will learn from everything you do and everything you don’t do. So speak, “…the truth in love [that they] may grow up into all things, which is the head, even Christ” (Ephesians 4:15).

 A final thought:

The hidden struggle in devoted parenting is the danger of giving too much time to your children i.e. neglecting your partner and other genuine responsibilities.  The child that watches his father give time to and express his love for his wife is marked for life not scarred for life. They are market with the balance and wisdom that true unselfish Christ like love brings.  The child that watches his parents live up to and meet their responsibilities are being moulded for success instead of being set up for failure.  Successful parenting is not about being perfect just committed, unselfish, loving and honest.  If your child learns these things they will be well trained for life.